The Parents My Daughter Left Behind

It’s her birthday soon. I can feel her birth parents’ love.

birth parents

In just less than three weeks, it will be dear FD’s birthday. Every year on this day, I think of her biological parents. I’m sure — though I can’t really know — that they they think of her on this day, too. I feel like I can feel them wondering where she is and hoping she’s alright. It’s a day during which both sides of the Earth seem joined by an invisible line of love running straight through, from them to us.

I don’t know how other adoptive parents feel about their children’s birth mother and father, but I feel so tenderly toward FD’s. First and foremost, I’m so grateful to them for bringing this wonderful spirit into the world. Who these people are and why they left her, umbilicus still wet, is a total mystery. After all, FD’s origin story is just a few lines long.

[FD], female, born on August 23, 2002, was found at the gate of the Police Station of Tuanfeng County by a police officer, [Officer’s name], and dispatched to our Institute on August 24. At admittance, she wore a suit of white-and-red colored acrylic jersey and underwear, and was wrapped in a blue-and-white stripe towel.

That’s all we know.

Was FD handed over because her parents wanted a son? Were her parents just kids who were too young or poor to raise her? Did they leave her, or was it their own parents who? Are they still together? Does FD have siblings? (I choose to believe that someday she’ll discover her story, and even a birth sister or more.)

I don’t know anything about her biological parents’ circumstances, and I know so little about their culture I wouldn’t dare judge them. It hardly occurs to me to do so — I just feel so sad for them to have missed out on raising this amazing person.

I remember now that while we waited for our referral, I was driving eastward one mid-August evening. Cresting a hill revealed a massive, sunset-lit cloud right in front of me. It felt like something magical and important. When I got home I told Doc our daughter had been born. (The timing was about right.)

Even though there’s a 12-hour time difference between us, I’ll look up at the moon in a few weeks and wonder about them watching it with me far away.

Don’t worry, whoever you are. FD is fine. She’s well-loved and a totally remarkable, with talents, tastes, and traits you’d probably find familiar. She thinks of you, too. And everything is alright.

Thank you.